Posts Tagged ‘ adhd’
Building Confidence Through Chores
Psychologists have incorporated chores into the treatment plans for many of the children with ADHD. Chores offer a context in which children with ADHD can be successful and proud of their performance, even when their impulsiveness, inattention, or disorganization may lead to mediocre school achievement. Children and teens with ADHD and executive functioning challenges may need extra help to plan and persist with chores.
If your child has difficulty with organizing and remembering the steps to complete a task, sit down with her and create a step-by-step list of what each job involves. Be clear about the specific expectations. Do you expect your child to move the knickknacks when he dusts the living room? Do you want the top of the refrigerator cleaned in the kitchen? Laminate the list of steps so that she has a template to use each time she does the chore and so that she can check off each step as she completes it.
Does your child have difficulty with getting started on tasks? Then you will likely need to set aside a specific time each day for chores so that they become routines. Initially, you will probably need to give a warning that “chore time” is coming up and signal when it is time. You may even need to start the task with her to get her rolling.
Is it a complex, multi-step task? Then maybe it should be completed over several days so as not to be overwhelming.
If your child tends to have difficulty with accurately assessing his own work, then you will need to highlight the process of reviewing and analyzing his own work. For example, when your child announces that he has completed a task, you can instruct him to go back and “be the parent.” “Go stand in your room and look at it as if you were the parent. Would you say that it’s all cleaned up? If not, take a moment and fix it.”
Many children with ADHD also have language processing weaknesses. If that is the case for your child, offer hands-on learning when you introduce a chore. Walk her through the steps by doing the job with her at first. After that, use the “guided practice” model common in classrooms; stay nearby when she first does the job on her own so that you can guide her if she misses a step.
Finally, enjoy the help that you are receiving! It’s a win, win situation!
The Gifts of ADHD
By looking at a diagnosis of ADHD as a unique gift, rather than a deficit, would be a major shift that would help both you and your child. Work with your child’s gifts, rather than against them.
Five Gifts of ADHD:
- 1. Creativity – Gifted in imagination & original thought. Impulsivity and distractibility are required for creativity. They are useful in thinking outside the box.
Tip: Tell your child that when he/she is tempted to daydream during school, write it down and save it for a special daydreaming session at home. - 2. Attunement to nature – ADHD symptoms were relieved by time spent in nature, especially green settings.
Tip: Give him/her time in nature before beginning homework or household chores. - 3. Interpersonal intuition – Highly sensitive, attuned and connected to others.
Tip: Help your child become aware of the emotion he/she feels. Help him/her figure out whose emotions he is picking up. Help him/her communicate his/her sensitivity to the person. - 4. Energetic enthusiasm – This energy makes your child exuberant, charismatic and fun to be around. The challenge is learning to focus his/her high levels of energy to fuel productive accomplishments & achieve goals.
Tip: Knowing what your child is good at and what he/she struggles with, you can begin to channel his/her energy in productive ways. - 5. Emotional sensitivity – This increases your child’s capacity to connect with and care for others. The challenge is learning to monitor & manage these emotions as they emerge.
Tip: Help your child find positive ways to express emotions or to ask for help when needed.
Above all, stay positive! Rather than punishing unwanted behavior, focus on positive reinforcement. This is especially important for a child diagnosed with ADHD, because their behavior is not usually willful. This child likely experiences rejection and failure at school and desperately needs a safe place at home where he/she can feel accepted for who he/she is. By being patient & understanding, you will improve your relationship with your child.